These are the clubs that exist to make us look good, to paraphrase Will Smith in 'Men In Black'. They like to think they're on a par with us, but really there's no comparison to be made. Let's face it, we're in the Conference and challenging for Div 3, they're not. 'Nuff said.

• Weymouth. Younger YTFC fans won't know this, but Weymouth used to be quite good once, a long time ago. Never as good as us of course, but not bad in their own limited way. They used to get decent-sized crowds (almost as many as us) which led to some, er, tasty atmospheres in derby matches but all that was a long time ago now. See Huge Huish Hugh's comprehensive potted history for details of games gone by and a flavour of exactly why it is we don't like the Seaside Scummers and they don't like us... Plus, click here to see Tom Brown's summary of the results and scorers between the clubs since 1891 to the present day.

• Bath City. Or Barf, as they're more popularly known. Their fan likes to think of us as their main rivals, but it's hard to take them very seriously when the players on the pitch out-number the crowd watching. The phrase 'amused contempt' was invented for how YTFC fans think about Barf. For a summary of results and scorers of all YTFC v Bath City games from 1901 onwards, click here.

• Dorchester. Nice ground, shame about the fans and the team. Even smaller crowds than Barf which I didn't think was possible but is.

• Tiverton/Taunton. Plucky no-hopers, both of them. Nothing much to dislike about either of them except for the fact that they've both been to Wembley more times than us [er, we've never been - Ed] even if it was only in the FA Vase. Jolly nice chaps.

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