For most clubs a "Teams They Love To Hate" page is easy stuff. They have that local rival who they have been knocking seven bells out of for aeons, and who knock them back. Each season their average gate doubles when they play each other. Derbies are a great tradition in football. It's why the Annies felt they had to invent one against Kettrin' to go along with their shiny happy ground. A bit schizophrenic as most of their fans actually supported said Kettrin' (or Northampton Town) a year or two back, but hey if it keeps them happy..........
At Yeovil our traditional derbies are against the Seaside Scummers and, a poor second best, Barf. But both these feeble outfits have been languishing in the DML for many a season and there's little evidence that they are ever going anywhere - except further down towards park football where they belong. As our nearest opponents in the Conference are currently that obscure outfit up at Nailsworth, which is more the Midlands than God's Own West Country in our opinion, and we care not one jot about them we have to find our enmities where we may.
- Stevenage Borough: CheatenageTM or the DCB as they're widely and popularly known, thanks to the antics of their ex-chairman Victor Green a couple of years ago when they somehow won the Conference title but missed promotion because their ground wasn't good enough. Punished by the FA for offering bungs, playing unregistered players and sundry other offences, Yeovil fans in particular dislike them because of the way they refused to let then player-manager Graham Roberts start a game for Yeovil in the year we were relegated - quite probably causing our relegation. Disliked in Newcastle in particular, undoubtedly they were the most unpopular club in Non-League football. But wait - what's this? The infamous Green has left! They've been taken over by someone else! Will this lead to Stevenage losing their crown as the most disliked Non-League team in land? Will they become only mildly abhorrent? Sadly - yes.
- Rushden and Diamonds: Filthy rich thanks to the generosity of their benefactor chairman, multi-millionaire Max Griggs, the Annies have come from nowhere to the threshold of League status in no time at all by flashing the cash to the tune of £14 million to £20 million depending which newspaper or TV station Max is speaking to at the time. Undoubtedly the wealthiest club in the known world, Ru$hden would have been in the Premiership several years ago if they'd had a decent manager but sadly for their fans they're stuck with ex-West Brom manager Brian Talbot. He specialises in spending huge sums of money on good looking players who rapidly turn into donkeys under his tutelage and get stuck into the 18 reserve sides Nene Park has to run to accommodate them all when he gets some more.
Their fans get up everyone's nose. As enthusiastic and voluble as a Cliff Richard fan at an Iron Maiden concert when in their ground - and prone to leaving just as early - they tour the Net telling everybody that their moneybags image is just the result of other's jealousy, other teams raise their game against them - which is sooo unfair, and that
Ru$hden are too good for this league. Unfortunately the table at the end of every season begs to differ and we're still stuck with them.
- Woking: We ought to dislike Woking. One of our closer rivals and a team with a depressingly successful record against us. But actually we rather like The Cards. They're good guys and gals. And not just because we got our Head Coach and two of our best players from them and er, oops......... they've got our Head Coach (the same one) and three of our best players from us (one the same as we got from them). Nothing incestuous here! We like them because, well, they're a likeable bunch. And they hate the DCB, which always helps.
- Hereford United: Not regarded as Yeovil's favourite team and the feeling is probably mutual. Great rivals from the old Southern League days, Hereford were unfairly elected to the old 4th Division, not even as Champions, during the same period Yeovil were pushing for election and equally unfairly weren't, even though we were far more deserving. We of course didn't score a fluke goal on national television against Newcastle. Not that we're still bitter or anything. Oh no. All they picked up in their undeserved time in the League was a nasty streak in some of their fans which they brought back down to the Conference with them. Fortunately these days they appear to be one of our bunnies and we usually beat them.
- Kingstonian: A bit of bad blood has grown up between Yeovil and the K's in the last couple of seasons. And sadly not of the bantering variety. The vast majority of fans get on pretty well, even if we do feel rather envious of their endless trips to Wembley, and with both clubs taking steps to exclude some individuals it's to be hoped that more acceptable levels of hostility will be restored.
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